


Meredith Brody's Single Girls' Survival Kit

by MeredithBrody



Category: NCIS, NCIS: New Orleans
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 16:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6017470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is mostly crack, written for Leo... and for Valentines Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meredith Brody's Single Girls' Survival Kit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Huntchaser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntchaser/gifts).



Meredith Brody had not been expecting many work people to be online today, and logging on to the computer she was not disappointed. Clicking through the icons she smiled when she saw one particular person as being online. Good. She could warn of her gift in advance. “Hey loser.” She started. That was a great start, definitely.

“Brody?” The confusion was obvious, but Brody didn't mind. It was unannounced.

“I think we know each other well enough by now that you could probably call me Merri.” She hated people of her own level insisting on using her surname. It just wasn't what she expected after almost two years in New Orleans. “What you doing at work?” She had been surprised, when the little contact that said 'Bish' had popped up on her Skype.

“I'm newly divorced. What are you doing at work?” It was only fair the question was turned back on her. Her reason was probably even more pathetic than Ellie's reason for being at work.

“Both the guys I'm dating who live in New Orleans flaked and James is in Eastern Europe somewhere.” She didn't remember where James was exactly, but he'd at least sent batteries along with a card that had made farting noises. The other two had no excuse.

“I can't get one guy and you have three.” Ellie laughed, and Brody couldn't help but smile. She only really wanted James, but while he was mostly unavailable she'd take what she could get.

“Hey if you want one I'm sure I can hit you up.” She was better than any dating site, she always knew single men, almost anywhere in the country. On top of that she'd noticed that LaSalle had seemed to have a little thing for their new friend. “There is always LaSalle.”

“Where is always LaSalle?” She heard asked, and turned slightly to see Pride walking into the room from the kitchen. She'd actually forgotten he'd be here today.

“Nothing, Pride. I'm just talking to Bish.” She pointed to the computer screen, knowing that the curious nature of her boss would mean he'd automatically have to come and see what was being said.

“Hey, Ellie.” Pride smiled, coming and standing behind Brody for just long enough to give a smile and a wave.

“Hey Agent Pride.” Ellie smiled, and a second later her face changed when Pride was no longer on camera and after a moment she hissed an urgent question. “Is he gone?”

“Yeah?” She couldn't wait now to see where this was going.

“You're not banging him too are you?” The concern showing on Ellie's face made Brody think for just a moment that possibly the rumours about her and the supervisor in Cedar Rapids had made it to DC, or maybe Ellie just worked on the assumption that Brody slept with almost anyone in a position of superiority. That wouldn't be entirely uncalled for.

“What? No!” She tried to sound as hurt and insulted as possible. Maybe exaggerating her reaction a little more than was strictly necessary. Especially when she added the next part. “He's not divorced enough yet.”

“There is a level of divorce?” Ellie looked simultaneously shocked, surprised and intrigued, and that was Brody's favourite type of facial expression, as it meant she had done something unexpected once again.

“Emotionally, hell yeah.” She smiled then went back to her thought about sleeping with her supervisors and remembered that Ellie was one of the few people who knew about her and Gibbs. “Besides what happened with your boss was long before you knew who he was.”

“Still creepy. You know what my bosses dick looks like.” That was not the direction she'd expected for this to go, but she could still take it up another step. It was like playing sex chicken. Judging

“And tastes like.” She smiled at the disturbingly horrified look that Ellie suddenly got on her face and Brody couldn't help but burst out laughing. “You brought it up.”

“You know he's in the room?” Ellie said totally deadpan as soon as she'd rearranged her expression, just a little bit louder than her last statement. Brody didn't really care if he'd heard her, as it wouldn't stop the comment from being true.

“I figured. Hey Gibbs.” She called a little louder, hoping that would draw him over a little, if only to heighten Ellie's embarrassment at this whole part of the conversation.

“Hello Brody.” Gibbs said, coming over Ellie's shoulder briefly and giving her a smile, one she couldn't help but return.

“How are you two never embarrassed about anything? How do you even look at each other?” For a moment, Brody wasn't sure whether Ellie was confused, concerned for their mental health or both. Either way the answer remained the same.

“We're adults.” She answered instantly. That was mostly it. Why would two consenting adults be embarrassed about what they enjoyed together. That and at his age and her… accidental inability to keep anything private, she thought everyone knew the worst anyway. “We also have no shame.”

“He just walked away laughing, I feel like I've missed something.” The confusion on her friends face was clear, and for some reason that made it all the more hilarious in Brody's mind.

“It's classified.” She said by way of getting out of explaining. It was classified, but it did cross the line of what she felt was probably appropriate conversation. At least when she couldn't see if Gibbs had actually left. “Anyway, I saw your name online.”

“You know that it's Valentine's Day, right?” Ellie looked through the camera as though she wasn't entirely sure that Brody knew the passage of time.

“Well yes Ellie, otherwise why would I have asked why you were at work?” Well, it was also Sunday, but working Sunday's wasn't uncommon in their line of work. Most people did try and leave early on Valentines though. That's why she assumed Chris and Sonja weren't here

“Sometimes things seem to slip your mind, Brody.” Alright, Ellie had a point there. Meaningless 'holidays' in which people supposedly actually told others they loved them was definitely something Brody wished would slip her mind. Unfortunately that was not to be. “You took my mind off a little bit of this shitty day, at least.”

“Well, there is a package waiting for you delivered by a couple of friends I still have in DC from me. It's my 'single girls survival kit'. Enjoy.” That was the whole thought of this box, enjoyment. She'd even ordered her favourite brand of vibrator to but in there, and she suddenly really hoped that Jen had packed the box and not her husband.

“There is nothing illegal in there?” That question was asked almost timidly. As if Brody would send her friend something illegal. They were law enforcement, if she was going to pass on something illegal she would damn sure do it in person.

“Nah, and everything in it is new. I wouldn't expect you to use second hand shit. Enjoy.” She wasn't going to give context for that just yet. She was certain that the text messages she'd get when Ellie eventually opened the box would be better.

“Thanks Brody.” She smiled, and as the video went dark her smile turned a little more into a naughty grin. Hopefully Bishop would _really_ enjoy what was sent to her. At least, that was the hope. If not there was wine and both Bridget Jones movies included.

“So what did you send her?” Pride asked, coming back in from the kitchen. She'd known he was in there, but was pretty sure that for the majority of the conversation her volume was low enough that he wouldn't have been able to hear.

“King, under the code of girl, I cannot let you know.” She smirked at her boss and stood up, pulling her jacket on and trying to think of the least weird way to put what she was thinking. “However, I could use a drink with someone as painfully single as I.”

“You're not close to single, Merri, but let's go.” OK she would give him that, but this Valentines she felt like she was single, and that was OK, because it had meant she could be around for a pair of friends who were both experiencing their first Valentines after divorce, and sometimes, you just had to look on the bright side.


End file.
